The pain and anger we all hold, no matter what side of the line you are on, is valid, and it needs to be transmuted, not acted upon. We do not know how to allow for pain and shift it in this society and we need to learn, quickly. It actually happens over and over, the victim of a crime forgiving the perpetrator. I believe Jesus was big on this. The end of Apartheid is an example,
truth and reconciliation, building a bridge between the oppressor and the oppressed. Every once in a while you will see a news story of parent or spouse of a victim going to the jail to confront and yes, forgive the perpetrator.
This is not airy-fairy stuff my friends. This takes courage. And to me this is the way through. The only response to violence is love. There I said it. I have felt this for a long time. I felt it with 9/11, I feel it when others act out against me personally and I believe it is called for here. My family will probably respectfully disagree with me. That is ok, because we love each other. Love. It is more powerful than hate or blame.
Allow yourself to sit with your pain, your anger, your hatred and breathe and let yourself feel it. Feel it burning deep within you. This is actually painful, but it is the only way. Allow yourself to feel it without adding to the story. Each time you notice you are feeding the story inside your mind, “oh, he did this and that was wrong and he needs - a, b, c, or d…” catch yourself and lovingly bring yourself back to simply feeling the feelings that the event and this story brings up in you. You have a right to be angry. You do not have a right to act out on that anger. It is your responsibility to feel it and transmute it. You and you alone can do this. We must all do this. There is no other way.
When I do this in my personal life the affects are sometimes miraculous. Rather than yelling at the other as I would like, I sit with my pain for as long as it takes, breathing in and out, feeling it, stopping the storyline in my head. At some point I shift into understanding that the other, no matter what they have done, the other has done their deed because of all they have been taught, and all they have not been taught. We are products of our conditioning. And we need to stop acting out. We can shift into compassion and love for the perpetrator no matter what the deed. It is the only way. I cannot say it enough. It is the only way. This other, this perpetrator was acting out on his own pain, conditioning, using the information he or she was taught throughout their life. This is not an excuse to allow anyone to continue violent behavior. It is a call to stop ourselves from doing the same. Understand the other is conditioned, taught unhealthy mechanisms, ideas and is in great pain and is incapable of doing anything other than acting out. And sit with the pain that informs you it would help you to do the same. This is not true. We have been conditioned erroneously too. It will satisfy your ego for a very limited time to act out. And then the cycle continues. It never stops. The only way to stop it is to shift into understanding, compassion and love for the perpetrator. Breathe in and out, feel the anger, then breathe in and out and feel love. It is possible. It is possible, it is possible.